Decluttering to Make Space to Be
Welcome to the latest edition of the Beyond Grief newsletter, where we talk about ways to move forward after the death of a loved one and more.
As the days grow longer and the bright, white hydrangea in our urban backyard bursts into bloom, spring invites us to open up to moments of wonder. A juvenile male cardinal visits the bird bath.
Everything outside calls us to lightness. It’s not easy when you are still grieving and feel stuck. Entropy has weight to it. Moving stuff can shift our internal reality and lift our spirits.
Spring is a perfect time to take action and clear space, both physical and emotional, with intentionality.
This newsletter shares 3 steps to declutter your environment with baby steps. Shift from grieving, just going through the motions to finding new purpose and even joy. If you’d like support to clear space for yourself, book a call.
Match Your Energy to the Clearing Task
Grieving people can’t count on their energy to stay strong enough to follow through to the end. The idea of decluttering is to increase your energy, not be drained. Before starting, check your energy and ask the following questions:
How much time is possible for decluttering today?
How much capacity for big or small emotional charge do you have today? This will help you decide which items to sort through first.
Identify Charged and Neutral Stuff to Declutter. Typically, charged stuff takes more energy. The decluttering session will be shorter and handle fewer things. Neutral stuff takes less from us energetically. It’s easier to make decisions on more stuff for a longer span of time.
Pick a Limited Project to Complete, Based on Your Energy: As you work, feel in your body the extra space you gain to breathe and be. It doesn’t matter what you choose - papers, clothes, art, office supplies, whatever. Celebrate what’s possible when you let go of that weight.
Celebrate Each Baby Step: Do it alone. Do it with friends or family. Reward yourself for ANY action can take at this time. Energy ebbs and flows. Structure your decluttering efforts flexibly. There are no rules. You are always grieving as best you can.
It’s Been a Season of Grief for Me
On December 8th, my Mom passed away. I was her mini-me. We wrote, traveled and sang together. Her ashes live in our apartment because my stepdad just can’t stand it.
December 8th is my younger brother’s birthday, who died when I was 25. His passing rocked my world and set me on this path, exploring how we grieve and how, through its lens, what matters gets sharp and clear.
On March 19th, my mother-in-law, Joyce, died, just a few weeks short of her 103rd birthday. I have cared for her since my husband died in 2016. Afterwards, we moved in our mutual grief for his loss from competition to love. I had to clear out her apartment when she went into the nursing home and her papers at the very end.
September 10th will be 10 years since my husband died. With his Mom’s death, I grieve him anew I still have 100s of his paintings to sell and, in all honesty, only this year, have I been able to let them go without breaking my heart. In the meantime, they fill space and time in my life. Selling them frees me to live my own life and pursue my own dreams.
In Case You Missed It
Check out my latest featured guest podcast, 247 Real Talk with Julian Perry - Grief, Love and What Really Matters: [Link to podcast]
Subscribe to the podcast I host, Find Your Way After Grief, Heartbreak and Loss for stories, inspiration and resources: [Link to Find Your Way podcast channel]
This newsletter provides insights and resources for people grieving heartbreaking life events. Your loss may be recent or years ago. All grief is valid and true if you feel it.
For 1-on-1 support to open up to and pursue a future of possibilities after your loss, schedule a call with me. Life is too short to miss out on its joy.
Until next time :)
